Coronaviral Adventures #10

This circuit breaker brings back a lot of childhood memories, especially of me helping my mother in the kitchen with cutting and chopping and stir-frying. And some things just never change.

How Others Present Recipes

Ingredients

• 1 cup of _____
• 1/2 teaspoon of _____
• 500 grams of _____
• and the blahs…

Steps

1. Pre-heat pan to temperature of (whatever scale you’re using)
2. Marinate (whatever shit) in (whatever seasoning)
3. Slowly pour (whatever shit)
4. Then (you get the idea…)
5. Yadda yadda yadda

How My Mother Presents Recipes

Ingredients

• Make sure the main ingredient is present (AKA check cabinet to ensure there is rice for baked rice or noodles for fried noodles 5 minutes before cooking)
• What else is in the refrigerator?
• Maybe this canned food before it expires?
• Eh, you know, that thing which I cannot remember the name of…
• Huh? What’s this?

Steps

1. Always throws in garlic to saute
2. Yells for someone to stir that shit before it gets burnt while preparing another ingredient
3. Heat control (AKA turn off the fire when the phone rings in preparation of a long conversation)
4. Stir-fry the vegetables but put them aside because forgot to stir-fry another ingredient in advance
5. Checks refrigerator again because something seems to be missing
6. Keeps saying “Don’t talk to me now, I’m busy”
7. Makes last-minute decision to change dish because there is a missing ingredient
8. Five minutes of mayhem and chaos ensue
9. Ta-da, dish is magically ready

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